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User blog:CowEverAfter/Flip the Script - Medea de Bank's Diary (FtSFeb2019)
yeet i am done!! yay enjoy! Fate is Fate It was definitely nice to throw a pie at Darling Charming’s face and hear her scream in her shrill and ear-piercing voice. Was the armor she even wore just for protection? After that, I didn’t throw anything else. Amidst the chaos, which I knew had been unleashed by my good friend Kitty Cheshire, I took this good opportunity to nick off some valuables from both sides. The chaos was beautiful, and though I did get caked and creamed a few times, I didn’t care. When I had stolen enough, I ran back to my dormitory and stashed my ‘finds’ in my secret corner. It was the day after Legacy Day. Being before Raven Queen, I had signed away my page in the Storybook of Legends. This secured me to my anticipated future of embarrassing Emperatriz Regalia, daughter of the current emperor from my tale and destined to be her father’s heir to the destiny. She signed before me, which means I still get my destiny but now that Rebels exist, I don’t know if my future is certain anymore. Despite these new circumstances, I still know that fate is fate . It was good to watch the food fight from a distance before I retreated to my room. On the way, I passed by a stranger. He had a nice emerald necklace. I’ll find some way to get that later. I returned to my room, dumped all the jewellery and crowns into the secret corner and changed into a new set of clothes. My next class was Tall Tale Studies, so I better finish that essay before break ends… Normally, people like to go to Book End after class. I had to stay back for my incomplete Tall Tale Studies essay, but Professor Jack B. Nimble gave me an instant A for lying so well to his face. I mean, he looked like he accepted my excuse on how I accidentally burnt up my homework while trying to concoct some potion but he still insisted on me finishing that Tall Tale Studies composition. Fine. Chapter 1 On my way to the Lifairy, I passed by Headmaster Grimm’s office. Duchess Swan, the nosy daughter of the Swan Queen, and a few others were peering through the doors and curiosity killed the cat. There was some yelling coming from inside. Apparently, the stranger I saw with the shiny emerald necklace from just now was ranting at Headmaster Grimm. He was still smeared with muffins bits, thronecake cream and a pancake completed his chaotic appearance on his head. I recognized him. Oh. The famous Doctor Oz. 8 PhDs in Magicology and Tall Tale Studies, a renowned member of the Science Council of the Magical World. Oops. While he was ranting, green fire glowed and blazed around him. Doctor Oz was in such a rage and was pointing his finger in the air with agitation. Without warning, the green fire blasted out and knocked all of us backwards. Ouch. It was painful. Headmaster Grimm was stunned before he calmed down and escorted Dr Oz out. “Dr Oz, let’s leave this conversation for later. It seems like we have an audience. Meet me at the tallest tower of the school grounds at five in the afternoon tomorrow and we can sort this out.” We all stood up and Headmaster Grimm raised an eyebrow at us as he walked Dr Oz out. “Showtime is over. Please go back to your dorms.” I shrugged and left for the Lifairy, though I felt something didn’t feel quite right. Chapter 2 The next day, I woke up with an aching back. I turned to stretch and felt-gossamer wings? What? I looked over at Mimi, my annoyingly annoying roommate. She didn’t grow wings. But I had wings. That meant I was a fairy. A fairy? I, Medea de Bank, thief extraordinaire, a fairy? One of those puny and primitive things? Those who wore flowers and danced around like stupid dumb petty flies? I, for one, have no regard for fairies, especially the good ones who are basically little twerps. At least I wasn’t decked out in flowery clothing and still in my Getting Fairest clothes. I was determined to get to the bottom of this and leapt out of my bed and- I don’t know what happened, but for one second, I started falling. The ground...was so far away. Imagine falling from the tallest tower in the United Fairy Emirates, which basically was the tallest tower in the world. Everything was spinning. If I hit the ground, I calculated I would most probably end up as fairy cremé. Fairy...I have wings! I tried flapping them to no avail. I screamed but my voice came out like bells? What the hex. I would never get to the bottom of this if I didn’t get out of this sticky situation. As I braced for impact, my feet started getting bigger and the rest of me followed and just as I was screaming ‘aaahhh’, my feet hit the ground normally. Mimi had been awoken and looked at me, annoyed and grumpy. Then, her expression changed. “How the Hex did you get wings?” She asked in amazement. Probably the only time she would ever talk to me with a somewhat positive tone. “How the Hex would I know? These are dumb.” I grumbled, stretching over to touch them. “I’ll talk to Madam Yaga.” Baba Yaga was my school counsellor. She pretty much was all the villain legacies’ school counsellor, but I would alternate between her and Mr B. Nimble as I don’t possess magic. It would be cool if I did. More often than not, I would prefer consultancy with Mr B. Nimble. Today though, this was about magical matters and I would rather ask Madam Yaga for the answers. I quickly changed, though it is considerably hard to squeeze your wings through clothes that don’t have wing holes. I forcibly closed them and managed to stuff them in my shirt, but I swear to Grimm it feels very uncomfortable when you do that. When I walked through the hallways, something bothered me a lot. Some people were like me, those who technically should not have wings had wings? Stirling White, that good-for-nothing-lousy-legacy kid had wings, though they were in vibrant shades of pink. Gross. At least mine were transparent. His stood out like a bunch of flies. Then there were fairies who turned out not to have wings: Faelle Sugarstone, whom I have kind of great admiration for her spunky personality, were finally rid of those hideous wings. Tyler Bell’s wings were gone as well. His shiny accessories were something I loved to steal. I found my BFFA, Faybelle, but she still retained her wings. “What’s up with everyone today?” Faybelle asked. I shrugged, but one bit of my wing seized that opportunity to poke out of my clothes a bit. Excited, she zoomed towards my back. “You have wings? This is so awesome!” I frowned at her. “Seriously? I almost killed myself when I shrunk while getting off my bed. At least your wing patterns are cool. I don’t know about mine.” Faybelle continued rambling. “...we could go flying together all over Book End, play tricks, make some people sneeze with Fairy Dust and …” I suppose it wasn’t so bad the more I heard about Faybelle listing all the reasons on Why It Is Good To Be A Fairy (Especially A Dark One). “We’ll see about that.” I grinned at her, pushing down my wing. “I’ll ask Headmaster Grimm-” “Attention students! Please report to the Charmitorium now. We have...a serious issue to settle.” Perhaps this was about the weird things going on today. In the Charmitorium, I found a seat. Of course, I walked. Faybelle flew in next to me. Next to me, a bright indigo flash happened and Kitty Cheshire appeared. Hey, since when did Kitty’s teleportation powers involve colours? “This is so cool! I could possibly burn down the whole school!” Kitty grins a devilish smile and conjures some balls of indigo fire. Faybelle immediately extinguishes them. “No fair! I have to chant to get my-wait a spell. I just snapped my fingers at you without needing to conjure up a spell! Have my powers evolved? As far as I’m concerned, I didn’t sign the Storybook of Legends, thanks to I-want-to-Rebel-against-fate Raven Queen.” Amidst the excitement my friends were chattering about, I stared at my hands, wondering what I could do. If I was a fairy, could I do actual magic? After all, I was named after the greatest sorceress in all of Greek history. I always knew magic was in my blood, but how did it evolve to this? Headmaster Grimm took this chance to catch our attention. The stranger from yesterday, Dr Oz, was on stage with him. Giles Grimm took the spotlight. “Students, it has come to our attention that some sort of switcheroo has occurred. Do not worry, we will fix this situation as soon as possible. Apparently, Dr Oz accidentally unleashed a powerful sort of switching spell which switched all of your destinies. He is very sorry about what happened and I apologize on his behalf.” Dr Oz certainly did not look apologetic. Some sort of buzz rang through the crowd. Headmaster Grimm stepped forward. “Now, now students. This spell is only temporary. Unfortunately, it cannot be undone until the time for it is up. We don’t exactly know when the spell ends, but for the time being, your counsellors will give you pieces of parchment containing your new destiny and your new counsellor, assuming your alignment and role changed. Teachers, you may lead your students to their holding places when this is done. As of now, I have some other matters to discuss, regarding Legacy Day, of course…” Whatever he said next was white noise to me. I was too busy trying to process whatever he said. Switched destinies? I couldn’t believe it. Did I now have a destiny that was related to being a fairy? After what seemed like forever after, the meeting concluded and students filed out of the Charmitorium. “Charm you later.” Faybelle and I tell Kitty as we ran (Faybelle flew) for the dungeons, where the villain legacies’ common room was. I was eager and desperate to know what sort of destiny I had. Was I to be a dark fairy? That would certainly make my life a lot easier if I could wield magic… I stared at the parchment in shock and bewilderment. My new destiny was Tinker Bell, from the story of Neverland. Did I swap destinies with Tyler Bell? Out of all the fairies I could be (aside from the even more disgusting ones), I was heir to the Tinker Bell legacy? I scanned the rest of the parchment. My new counsellor was the Fairy Queen. Great. I scanned through the list of my class-ics. Heroics 101, Good Magic Mastery, Experimental Fairy Math, Woodshop and Chem-myth-stry. So I still can’t escape the dreaded Rumpelstiltskin. The last subject was blank, as that was for my elective. I knew immediately what I needed to choose. “Tall Tale Studies, Miss Fairy Queen.” She nods as if thinking that was a wise choice. After all, I am a swindler, NOT a fairy. Definitely not one who tinkers with stupid pots and pans all day long. If I want to tinker, I’ll only touch the finest collection of jewellery. I chose Tall Tale Studies because like I said, it’s my best subject. I will most definitely fail most of my new class-ics, temporary destiny switch or not, so I still need something to keep my FPA strong. Who knows how long this switch will take? Chapter 3 Heroics 101. My first class of the day. The faculty told us to have a big breakfast, for they said they were going to hold us back to complete the day’s schedule (so as to help us settle and adjust into our new lives, though probably an excuse for some other reasons.' I don’t buy it'.) I went to the Lifairy. I caught up with Kitty and Faybelle on the way. At least their new destinies are cool. Kitty was destined to be the next Evil Queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, obviously explaining the indigo fireballs and the fact that all Raven can do is disappear in and out. I hope Kitty sets the school on fire. Faybelle, on the other hand, got the destiny of Queen Nabote of the Fairies from the French fairytale Fairer-than-a-Fairy. At least she still got to uphold a villainous legacy. What about me? I was the next Tinker Bell. Let’s consider the pros and cons. The pros: I’ll get to go on a fairy interesting adventure, fight some people for my own honour and kick some ass (I think). I possess magic, but who knows what I can do. I might count that as a con. Cons? I’m a fairy. No thank you. As cool as Faybelle Thorn gets, I do not have a very powerful legacy and I’m supposed to be a ‘good’ person. See, I don’t get people. They usually call us villain legacies the ‘bad’ guys. Think about this: if someone dislikes or hates you, do you call them bad? No. They just dislike you. Applying to context, it works the same way for us. We just don’t like the other party (I won’t necessarily call them the good guys). However, people only see us as ‘bad’ guys: they don’t even bother to use the formal term ‘villain’. Think about that word without negative connotations: it is an honour to hold a title. You’ll see an entirely new side of us ‘bad’ guys. Because of my...dislike for fairies, I didn’t know much about Tinker Bell, aside from the fact that she got to kick a lot of ass and throw magical pixie dust everywhere. I’m heading for the Lifairy to research more in depth before my Heroics 101 class. After all, you have to know your tale before you fight your battles well. Chapter 3, part 2 I cried. Medea de Bank does not cry. I have to die at the end of my new tale. Does Medea de Bank die? No. She finds ways to escape and trick death, like Sisyphus. But she does it successfully. Unacceptable. I hate this. I will switch sides to being a Rebel. I prefer my old destiny, mind you. As much as I wouldn’t like to, I will murder that Dr Oz even if he has eight PhDs in his belt and is one of the most remarkable people in the land. My cheeks are wet as I drag myself to the Heroics 101 classroom. Chapter 4 I suppose Heroics 101 couldn’t have been worse. I sulked throughout it the whole time because the concept of premature death kept popping in my head. Most of the time, we did loads of theory, which involved copying down pages and pages of notes. It was kind of boring because I thought we would be doing some outdoors stuff like How To Defend Yourself From Becoming Dragon’s Food or stuff like that but apparently within forty-five minutes I’ve copied down 12 pages of 86 Ways On How To Defeat A Villain. It does help to have fast hands from years of nicking purses and wallets, but they are aching and I don’t get how anybody else writes so many things in less than an hour. I believe I am the first to write at this insane speed. Maybe it’s because I write with large spacing and big words. I don’t know. As far as I’m concerned, Tall Tale Studies or any of my other subjects did not have that much theory work. I thought Heroics 101 was all about gallantry and chivalry. Turns out I was wrong, I suppose. This tiring subject, however, does give me an insight into how the ‘good guys’ win in tales. At least I have the upper hand in mine and I don’t get caught. I feel kind of bad for those like Raven, but what can I say? She must be enjoying her life as the Cheshire Cat right now. During the last fifteen minutes, Dr. King Charming brought us out to the field for a bit of a jousting session against each other. Trust me, jousting is not as easy in practical as it sounds in theory. You do not just read notes and jab at each other in the practical. It’s way worse when you experience it in reality. I would have been defeated if it wasn’t for my quick wits and agility. My opposing partner was, well, out of all people, Daring Charming. I heard that he retained his original destiny (funny, right?) though I heard the next Snow White (for now) is Cerise Hood. I actually managed to get my wings flapping (though it did tear a couple of slits in my top) and I could fly for like a few centimetres above the ground. While Daring parried and sliced, I mostly dodged and avoided his swings. Thankfully, fifteen minutes went by very quickly. What I did was after five extremely long minutes, I asked for a break, then handed him a golden hand-mirror which I had stolen from him earlier. Daring obviously accepted it and spent the next ten minutes looking at it. Crisis averted. Phew. Chapter 5 My second class was Good Magic Mastery. The Fairy Queen divided the students into three groups: those who already knew how to fly, those who didn’t need to fly and those who didn’t know how to fly. The first and second group, she let the best students take charge of their respective groups and initiate self-learning. For us, those who couldn’t fly, she gave us a crash course on how to do just that. I struggled to control my wings as for most of the time, they went out of haywire. I must have smashed my face in the ground at least a hundred times during this lesson. Hence, I attempted to fly for short intervals of time within at least thirty centimetres above the ground. It was a lot of trial and error and I speculate that these brand new wings of mine were part of my biological structure, meaning that with a lot of pressure and work put on these wings, they would start to tire and ache, explaining my current backache. By some beginner’s luck, I managed to increase the periods of time I flew in the air. The Fairy Queen was very patient with us but the more I saw the other fairies flying quick and confident in the air, the more determined I felt to be just like them. With all my efforts, I pushed myself harder, trying my best to ignore that backache. I tried to keep this goal in mind, but it’s extremely difficult to stay focused on propelling yourself in the air while you try not to look at the group that doesn’t need to fly. They were learning how to levitate heavy objects. We, on the other hand, devoted an entire hour and a half to flying. I have no clue if it was luck, but I got the hang of it. Thank Tyche, Greek goddess of fortune, because I don’t remember any other luck deities’ names. Fortuna, the Roman version probably? Miss Fairy Queen praised me for being a fast learner. Really? I didn’t think so. It was sheer luck, though I don’t believe in luck. Sometimes, however, you have to cut corners. She let Farrah Goodfairy, who is currently the next in line for one of the Good Fairies from Sleeping Beauty, and Nina Thumbell, the next Tom Thumb (for now), teach us about miniaturization. Fits both of their names. Afterwards, Miss Fairy Queen returned to teach the rest of those who still couldn’t fly on how to...fly. Apparently, miniaturization was the thing that happened to me this morning. I shrunk to the size of like, three inches or even smaller. Ew. I could have been crushed if Mimi decided to come over to my side of the dormitory (which she never does because she is banned from doing so. By me.). Surprisingly, I understood this segment of the lesson better than flying. You shrink by using your mind and your willpower. You think of a certain height that you want to be, though it has to be shorter than your current height. You focus on those numerals and your physical shape shrinks to accommodate the space. Soon, I was just shrinking, growing and flying everywhere. I will admit just this once: being a fairy is fun. Aside from the fact that I have to die in my predestined temporary story. Temporary or not, I still worry how long does ‘temporary’ count for. Chapter 6 Next was Experimental Fairy Math. On the way, I bumped into that rude little snob Emperatriz Regalia and her henchwoman my roommate. Was that a bandana? Honestly, Emperatriz’s fashion statements have not improved any better. “What’s your new role, intolerable little unfashionable goblin?” I sneered at my rival. “'Is that a handkerchief to use when you cry?'” “Excuse you! My fashion sense is impeccable. As the future right-hand woman for Captain Hook, I am obviously the best-dressed of them all.” Good. Her pride was wounded. It always was every day. As if she even had any pride. She even had to serve someone else. Finally. I am glad the glass slipper is on the other foot. Mmm. Some dude named Smee. Even when destined to be a rouge, Emperatriz still wanted to be the best that she always could be. As if she could even fit the standard of ‘good’. “Whatever After. I’m wondering who your Captain Hook is…” I glanced at Mimi, who was sporting an eyepatch. “...You. Interesting. A beautiful role and alignment switch.” Mimi frowned at me. “So? What’s yours?” Just then, the bell signalling 3rd period rang. “Gotta fly.” I smiled smugly as I flapped my wings and sped away. These wings certainly were useful. Experimental Fairy Math was just about the worst class I’ve ever taken so far today. I know, Heroics 101 was bad enough, but this was W O R S E. I, for one, am not a sapiosexual, unless it comes to stuff like Tall Tale Studies or History of Tall Tales. Secondly, more than half of the people in my class are fairy nerds. Thirdly, Experimental Fairy Math is pretty much a combination of Fairy-sics and Crownculus. Talk about boredom. I stumbled out of the classroom like a zombie. We spent the whole lesson calculating the best way and best angle to fly and the correct speeds to fly at etc. so that we wouldn’t be swayed by strong winds and hit things. I never paid attention. After forever after, it was time for our lunch break. Chapter 7 During lunch, after getting some food and sitting with some Royals who switched to Rebels (and complaining about our new class-ics, destinies and pretty much everything else, especially about Kitty setting the Cooking Class-ic classroom on fire and getting into detention, not long before another food fight started again), I caught up with Faybelle. “Care to teach me more devious tips for being a fairy?” “You got the right girl!” Faybelle yelled and fist pumped the air. “Just remember to get me my favourite drink from Hocus Latte later.” We spent the rest of the Lunch period training on how to miniaturize and fly. Faybelle cast some magical burning hoops and I practiced. She did cast a protection spell over me so on the one occasion that I accidentally fell, I didn’t burn myself but I did keep thinking I smelt some smoke from my hair. What were all these hextra lessons for? I wanted to best everybody who was a newbie fairy and also, I had a great idea for a heist in Book End later. These fairy powers might come in handy. There was a museum I was planning to target to get some valuable knight armour but the problem was I couldn’t bypass the security. My brilliant plan was to shrink down to a small size, get past the guards, shrink the items to an easy size for me to carry using pixie dust and whisk them away. I’ve stolen and used pixie dust before, so the only problem that I had to face was miniaturization. Woodshop was cool. Chem-myth-stry, as usual, was horrible with the dreaded Rumpelstiltskin still teaching us. Finally, it was my most favourite class-ic. As Professor B. Nimble was revisiting the basic substance of Tall Tale Studies for the sake of new students, I flexed my beautiful essay writing skills by whipping up ‘Three Necessities of a Skilled Liar’ in twenty minutes. Even Professor B. Nimble was impressed. After the lesson, it was freedom and time to enact action to my plan. Chapter 8 Actually, I waited until it was midnight to carry out my heist but in the meantime, I spent my hours completing homework, arguing with Mimi and training my fairy skills. Honestly, if I looked at my new destiny from a whole new viewpoint, I might side as a Roybel (with the threat of death included). There really were a lot of good points to being a fairy and when this switcheroo is over, I might miss the thrill of flying. Hence, I flew around a lot. Finally, it was midnight. All went to plan, and after I flew past the sleeping security guards, I did a triumphant shout. Stupid me. My tinkling bell sounds woke them up. I flew for my life and managed to escape. After all, trolls are slow. I got back to my dorm and reverted to my original size with a little bit of difficulty. I stowed away the pieces of armour before I changed into my sleepwear and laid on my bed. At least Mimi was asleep. Exhausted, I closed my eyes and sleep overwhelmed me even before I could protest that lying on my bed, wings open, was painful… Chapter 9 The next day, I woke up without wings. Had things gone back to normal? When Headmaster Grimm made the announcement to confirm it, I was kind of happy, yet sad at the same time because I wouldn’t be able to fly around like a fairy again. Mimi and Emperatriz were ecstatic that they had retained their roles again, but honestly, I did like my wings. During break, the Royals and the Rebels were much nicer to each other. I guess we all kind of learnt our lessons. I feel the pain of Tyler Bell and pity for him that his mother had a premature death and so will he. After all, my own mother disappeared too. Yesterday also taught me that I shouldn’t take my Happily Ever After for granted as well, and that, well, some people just have it worse than me. I understand hexactly why Rebels want to rebel, but nobody can escape fate. After all, fate is fate. 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